If ya don't know what it's like -

Anyone who has never faced malicious brutality is unqualified to judge anyone who has.  Lotsa folks are imbued with armchair bravery...but it's no substitute for the actual intestinal fortitude or character  of those under fire. 

Freezing black water - up to my chest - in the middle of a brittle cold Steamboat Springs winter night.  I was 6 yrs old.  Too terrified to scream.  The barrel  of a loaded 30.30 waved in erratic jerks and circles 3 feet from my head. I'll never forget the demonic halo around his head from the porchlights beside the open front door behind us.
 His smell was strong and viciously mean - whiskey, and sweat, and piss.  I was in an irrigation canal in front of our house where he had thrown me hard enough to bloody my scalp from being drug from the house by my hair.  His screams were bellows of insanity - the request - over and over " You ready to die"  "You Ready to die"  "you little beaner fuck???" (Apparently Puerto-Rican was too hard to say.)

He had just brutally beaten the hell out of my mother,  and then raped her viciously while I sat going crazy  in the other room. When I heard her scream I pulled a chair over to the fireplace hearth climbed on it , and took the deer rifle from the gun-rack above the mantle.  The cries when the belt he was swinging  would slap against her head. She was fighting back - and losing.  I opened the door and pointed the rifle at him .  I was crying.
 I had time to say "quit it" before his fist hit me in the stomach.  He yanked the rifle from my hands as I fell.  He kicked me clear across the room. He was her husband.  Big drinker.  Worthless white trash son-of-a-bitch that thought "nigger" was an adverb. Came home drunk every payday and beat the shit out of my Mom , and if that wasn't quite enough I was up next.

Moms face was a bloody mess and she begged  him franticly- crying "Don't do it"  "Let him alone" "Take me".  She was dying inside.   I was shivering so hard I couldn't hear.  Couldn't feel my legs.   Somehow - I'll never know how, she talked him back to the house and back to the cold beer she shoved in his hand over and over for the next 2 hrs.  When he passed out we got in the car with my dog "Sport", a paper sack full of clothes, in wet blankets and pajamas, and never looked back.
This old memory doesn't come around often.  It's everything about who I refuse to be  and what I refuse to accept.

When I saw the pictures of the water protectors being sprayed down with water cannons in freezing temperatures - I remembered.  When I saw the smoke and the muzzle flashes, women and old people choking from the tear gas and pepper spray - I remembered. When I saw peaceful people being brutalized at the hands of law enforcement,  I remember all too vividly what complete helplessness really does feel like. Once you've experienced it - it never goes away completely.

I know what it's like to look evil in the eye and be at it's mercy.  Anyone who doesn't should never assume they know what it's like - because they don't.  I'm not 6 years old anymore.  I stand with the protectors at Standing Rock for this reason first and foremost :  What is happening to them is wrong.  Simply wrong!

I'm leaving from Denver Sunday morning for the Rez with a generator, a big tent, and  slug of donated clothes and winter gear. .  I welcome anyone who wants to join me.  A bunch of Veterans are going up this week as well.  These brave souls are the only reason we've ever had a home. ( Native Americans contribute more people to the American m,military than any other group per capita). They are holding to their oath to defend this nation agains all enemies - foreign and domestic.  I'm a smart-ass guitar-player - I swear to stand with them......all the way.

My Grandma taught me to pray. She never led me wrong and  It's never let me down.  I ask that we all pray for these folks in Standing Rock today - and while you're at it - thank heaven for our good fortune today - that we've been lucky enough to witness the gigantic courage of those who face abject malice with prayer,  for the souls of their aggressors - and wanton destruction with uncrushable tenacity of spirit.  

30 Days To Standing Rock - Day 2 * November 2, 2016

I've had a bit of a cold today so I've been laying low. Not much tangible progress but it gave me some time to think. I think I hate colds. I wish it was the only affliction I suffered from:-)

I believe, that I , like so very many Americans today , suffer a malaise of sorts. A lag in sensibilities.  

I say often. In the course of history, the majority of the populace who lived and died through the most tumultuous events in history - since the beginning of time - had no earthly idea at the time, of the implications and consequences of their choices as a unified society. It has always been the subjugation of one group or another that have led to wars, that have led ultimately to the defeat andcollapse of these cultures or nations.  

The advancement of humanity is slow and painful. Greed is failing us as a species. Fear is failing us as a species, and I believe, we are as a nation at a cusp. History no longer lauds ruthless conquest as heroic. 

The people of the Sioux nation have endured 200 years of subjugation, broken treaties and promises, confinement, and abuse at the hands of the American government - and/or just about any profiteer who could make themselves rich, while the Indians starved in Standing Rock.  

Every day our news is saturated with the hyper-documented conflicts in 1 or more of the 7 countries our military is currently bombing. IMHO, condemnation of Russian/Syrian alliance or any of a dozen other murderous regimes in the world, by the American government and media, must ring incredibly hollow to any other citizen of any other country in the world, when they see what America is doing - repeating actually in sickeningly real real-time - in the hills of Dakota on the sacred grounds of the sovereign Sioux nation.

I have to wake up now. Rise up from the peanut butter blather that fills my ears with mis-information and outright lies. Rise up from my own fears and prejudices - my own insecurities and skewed capacities. The voices from the Rez today are the alarm clock I've been waiting to hear. Humanity is far more important than any government or corporation will ever be. History proves it over and over.

t's time to go north. Who am I to be doing something like this? I don't know. I'm about to find out.

The vote that happens in a week is inconsequential to the Standing Rock Sioux. They've never been represented fairly by a president or politician yet, and it sure doesn't look like they will be anytime
me in the near future. No government is going to fix this until the government gets fixed. They've been fartin' around with it for 200 years. Don't hold your breath waiting for that train. It's a futile effort.  

My prayer is that, as a nation, we finally en~masse grow a sufficient distaste for the wanton rape of the disenfranchised, specifically the Standing Rock Sioux, by the well-moneyed and corporate - that the good and common people that really make up this nation join their voices with all of ours who believe we are a better nation than this , better people than this. Who believe that we HAVE to be better than this.

I pray sincerely for the police and law enforcement in Standing Rock. The rabid stain on their souls, the violence they've perpetrated and the pictures in their memories of the people they've shot at, man-handled, beaten - will never disappear from their sight. Win, lose , or draw -The natives and protesters will go down in history as just and wronged. As being on the right side of morality. The men and women behind those weapons will never escape the face in the mirror.

They have a choice and so do I and so do you. Help us. Stand up and make your voices heard. It's 2016 and it's time for us as a people to fully live up top the promised "Land of the Free - Home of the Brave" Here's the rub - freedom is for everyone and we have to be brave.

List of needed supplies in Standing Rock:

Supplies, cash, or check donations can be sent to:

Sacred Stone Camp P.O. Box 1011, Fort Yates, ND 58538

or

202 Main Street Fort Yates, ND 58538

TOP NEEDS

• FIREWOOD (PREFERABLY OAK, MAPLE, ASH)

• TIPIS/TIPI POLES/TIPI LINERS FOR WINTER

• PICK-UP TRUCK W/ 4 WHEEL DRIVE

• TRAILERS/CAMPERS (FOR WINTER SHELTERS)

• SNOW TIRES - VARIOUS SIZES

• GIFT CARDS FOR LOWES OR MENARDS (THERE IS NO HOME DEPOT NEARBY)

• WALL TENTS WITH WOODSTOVES AND POLES

• SLEEPING BAGS FOR SUBZERO TEMPERATURES (INC. MILITARY STYLE)

FULL SUPPLY LIST

• BANNERS, SHEETS (WE LOVE IT WHEN YOU MAKE BANNERS AND SEND THEM TO US!)

• BATTERY PACKS FOR CHARGING PHONES

• CANVAS - HEAVY DUTY ONLY PLEASE

• CAR PORTS

• CARTS AND WHEELBARROWS FOR HAULING WOOD

• CIGARETTES-MARLBORO REDS AND CAMELS

• COME ALONGS

• FIREWOOD (PREFERABLY OAK, MAPLE, ASH) <<< THIS IS ONE OF OUR BIGGEST WINTER NEEDS  

• FIRE EXTINGUISHERS

• PROPANE

• FUR BLANKETS

• TESORO GAS CARDS

• GAS GENERATORS

• GIFT CARDS - LOWES/MENARDS, AMAZON, VERIZON

• INSULATED CARHARTT TYPE COVERALLS, OVERALLS, COATS

• LIGHTERS

• MATERIAL FOR TOBACCO TIES (ALL COLORS)

• MONEY

• PAINT (INC. SPRAY PAINT)

• PICK UP TRUCK

• POWER INVERTER

• PROPANE HEATERS (SMALL)

• ROPES, TIE DOWNS

• SHIPPING CONTAINER 20 FT

• SLEEPING BAGS (FOR 0 DEGREES F AND LOWER - PLEASE NO WARM WEATHER BAGS AT THIS TIME)

• SNOWMOBILES

• SNOW TIRES (INQUIRE FOR SIZES)

• SOLAR CHARGERS FOR ELECTRONIC DEVICES

• SOLAR PANELS, INVERTER

• STORAGE BINS - HEAVY DUTY - ALL SIZES

• TARPS - HEAVY DUTY ONLY

• TIRE CHAINS

• TENTS (THAT CAN STAND UP TO HIGH WINDS, SNOW, SUBZERO TEMPS)

• THERMAL BED ROLLS

• TIPIS AND TIPI POLES

• TIPI LINERS FOR WINTER 

• TOW STRAPS

• WALKIE TALKIES WITH LONG RANGE, CB RADIOS 

• WATER BUFFALO (TANK)

• WATER TANK WITH HEATER

• WINTER COATS (FOR VERY COLD TEMPS, GOOD CONDITION ONLY PLEASE)

• WINTER SALT FOR ROADS

• WOOD STOVES (MOSTLY SMALL ONES FOR TIPIS)

• YOUNG WARRIORS!!

  
  

30 Days TO Standing Rock - Day 1

I've never really felt qualified for my own life - or for half the things I've experienced.

 It's  amazing to me how innocent this day looked at 5 a.m.   The dogs were warm and sleepy curled

up next to me.  Labrador snores and hound-dawg snuffles. They hog the bed somethin' fierce, and most days I wake up with cold feet, no blankets,  staring' a dog's butt right in the eye.

I've always been partial to big dogs and these two aren't tiny.  They're getting older and I have to wake them up most days.  They stretch and yawn and roll on their backs for a good scratch.  Not too much could be wrong.....for a minute.

My mind hadn't really started to fire yet, and National Public Radio had yet to inform me for the day - from every journalistic angle - just  how screwed we all are .

Then I remembered the picture.............an armed sniper in military garb pointing a weapon at a group of peaceful protesters, women and children.  In a land whose soil still wears the breath of the men, women , and children who, for over 120 years,  and through no fault of their own, have been done poorly - maliciously and murderously - by governments and white men, promising ad infinitum, without ever the slightest intention of making good on their word.

This is how it starts for me.  I am absolutely ineffective at my own life.  A hot mess on shaky legs sporting'  a mouthful of razor blades and a firecracker in each nostril in a dark room.

I'm confused as hell most of the time, But There's always a thread that I can't define or erase - that has tied me inextricably , to the beautiful and graced breath of heaven.    Tied me to Love.  To kindness and to fairness. To the lessons learned on the lap of my Grandmother, and  at the swift loving hands of my mother. By the example of the greatest people I could ever hope to know.

Lessons learned without any sugar-coating From the greatest man I ever knew, and a whole community of men just like him. I remain committed  to the whole-hearted belief that the benevolent example of Jesus Christ, wasn't a religion to create - it was an example to follow. IMHO That human example remains today the standard that humans were meant to ascribe to.

I have been given principles to live by that supersede governments, trends, or generations.  I fall short often and fail miserably with considerable consistency.  Occasionally we get one through the hoop.  This one I will stand on.

I suffer no illusion that I will save anyone.  I might just save myself from myself.  I might be able to tell God and my Grandmother that I am grateful - and that I tried to help.

Enough about you - let's talk about me:-)

The actions by the government and by big oil, in Standing Rock, are not new.These folks have been getting screwed for a couple hundred years.  That it's been going on for generations seems to be justification enough for continuation of the policy. "It's always been that way"  "Not my problem"  "The desires of a few are far more important than the needs of many" "Who cares"

Anyone who has ever been screwed over - marginalized, molested,  maligned or abused - by someone they're supposed to be able to trust, in their own home or school or church, can surely understand the horror and rage of this abject arrogance.

Walk into anyone else homes  in Americas living room with a jackhammer, dig up their yard, kick over the TV set, and piss in their drinking water - see how that goes.  You'd get arrested in Beverly Hills, or Bismarck, or any other white-centric city in America.

On the Rez folks get arrested and beaten, shot, persecuted and blamed  for objecting to poisoned water, for objecting to criminal profiteers raping their homes and their children future for another generation.  A cycle of poverty is cultivated and exploited. These folks deserve a choice in their own home and on their own land.

The original citizens and their children - Native citizens of America weren't granted citizenship in their own country until 1924. They've survived what can only honestly be described as a quite effective campaign of genocide that's run for 200 years.  There's been, quite literally, no concern in the American consciousness around the indians plight, for generations.   This is a different day.

I made a mention on Facebook that I was going to go to Standing Rock. No specifics or plan.  By the end of this day I've been astounded.  A few conversations have morphed into a small army of activists rolling up their sleeves,  rapidly shaping plans for a couple truckloads of supplies, Drop-off points for clothes, tents, etc - a music benefit or possibly 3 , and initial contact with Standing Rock Tribe to seek the guidance and blessing of the Tribe and Elders. Conversations with musicians and business owners all eager to lend their voice and talents.

I'll keep you all posted daily for the next month.  We're heading north  and it's gonna be a ride.

I need your help. I take any assistance as a personal favor.  We all need to see this get right.

In the next 30 days I plan to keep you all posted as to our progress.  We're gonna go all "Hillbilly Helper" and the thing is...................................If you help me, we can make a difference.

Good night, God Bless -  Talk Catcha later:-)

List of needed supplies in Standing Rock:

Supplies, cash, or check donations can be sent to:

Sacred Stone Camp P.O. Box 1011, Fort Yates, ND 58538

or

202 Main Street Fort Yates, ND 58538

TOP NEEDS

• FIREWOOD (PREFERABLY OAK, MAPLE, ASH)

• TIPIS/TIPI POLES/TIPI LINERS FOR WINTER

• PICK-UP TRUCK W/ 4 WHEEL DRIVE

• TRAILERS/CAMPERS (FOR WINTER SHELTERS)

• SNOW TIRES - VARIOUS SIZES

• GIFT CARDS FOR LOWES OR MENARDS (THERE IS NO HOME DEPOT NEARBY)

• WALL TENTS WITH WOODSTOVES AND POLES

• SLEEPING BAGS FOR SUBZERO TEMPERATURES (INC. MILITARY STYLE)

FULL SUPPLY LIST

• BANNERS, SHEETS (WE LOVE IT WHEN YOU MAKE BANNERS AND SEND THEM TO US!)

• BATTERY PACKS FOR CHARGING PHONES

• CANVAS - HEAVY DUTY ONLY PLEASE

• CAR PORTS

• CARTS AND WHEELBARROWS FOR HAULING WOOD

• CIGARETTES-MARLBORO REDS AND CAMELS

• COME ALONGS

• FIREWOOD (PREFERABLY OAK, MAPLE, ASH) <<< THIS IS ONE OF OUR BIGGEST WINTER NEEDS  

• FIRE EXTINGUISHERS

• PROPANE

• FUR BLANKETS

• TESORO GAS CARDS

• GAS GENERATORS

• GIFT CARDS - LOWES/MENARDS, AMAZON, VERIZON

• INSULATED CARHARTT TYPE COVERALLS, OVERALLS, COATS

• LIGHTERS

• MATERIAL FOR TOBACCO TIES (ALL COLORS)

• MONEY

• PAINT (INC. SPRAY PAINT)

• PICK UP TRUCK

• POWER INVERTER

• PROPANE HEATERS (SMALL)

• ROPES, TIE DOWNS

• SHIPPING CONTAINER 20 FT

• SLEEPING BAGS (FOR 0 DEGREES F AND LOWER - PLEASE NO WARM WEATHER BAGS AT THIS TIME)

• SNOWMOBILES

• SNOW TIRES (INQUIRE FOR SIZES)

• SOLAR CHARGERS FOR ELECTRONIC DEVICES

• SOLAR PANELS, INVERTER

• STORAGE BINS - HEAVY DUTY - ALL SIZES

• TARPS - HEAVY DUTY ONLY

• TIRE CHAINS

• TENTS (THAT CAN STAND UP TO HIGH WINDS, SNOW, SUBZERO TEMPS)

• THERMAL BED ROLLS

• TIPIS AND TIPI POLES

• TIPI LINERS FOR WINTER 

• TOW STRAPS

• WALKIE TALKIES WITH LONG RANGE, CB RADIOS 

• WATER BUFFALO (TANK)

• WATER TANK WITH HEATER

• WINTER COATS (FOR VERY COLD TEMPS, GOOD CONDITION ONLY PLEASE)

• WINTER SALT FOR ROADS

• WOOD STOVES (MOSTLY SMALL ONES FOR TIPIS)

• YOUNG WARRIORS!!